So during my time at home, I haven't been doing much. I had a simple Christmas, but it was a nice Christmas because I managed to avoid being torn between two places. I spent Christmas with my mom and my nieces and nephew. I haven't done that in a while. Usually I spend Christmas eve with my mom, watch my nieces and nephew open presents at midnight, and then in the morning I leave for my dad's family Christmas/ Birthday party. I never look forward to watching my nieces frown at the sight of me and my brother leaving.

My oldest brother, my half brother Robert, is 17 years older than I am. As a consequence, he got married and had children when I was barely entering junior high. My sister-in-laws sister is infertile... so besides the family friends that they have here and there, my brother Jae and I are the only real extended family they have.

My niece, Alexa, and I are close enough for her to feel like a baby sister. I love her because I was so excited when she was born... minus the brutal quarrels we would always have during my adolescent years of babysitting her. But now that she's 12 I enjoy just listening her talk about her school life, her friends, her crushes, her interests...

My second niece, or rather, my God Daughter Jasmine (Robert I was too young when Alexa was born to be a God Mother, so he promised me that if he had another kid I'd be first in line) is a ball of energy. Her interests reflect mine a lot more than Alexa's (For her age, Alexa is really into flashy clothes and bling bling and make up and fashion and all that... which makes me wince a little because I want her to focus on things that are more fun). Jasmine likes to keep busy... a busy bee. She loves to draw and make things... she's very independent and suffers from the middle child syndrome; she's often ignored and has her occasional fights for attention.

My nephew, Christian, is a miniature heart throb. He has definitely brought of life into the family with his quirky, happy go lucky demeanor. My brother was going to stop having children after the two girls, but a need for a son got the best of him.

I love spending Christmas with my mom and brothers because I feel like they are my family. More so than the mob of relatives on my dad's side. I'd rather receive hardly anything but some cash from my mother for Christmas than an armful of things I don't want. Christmas is a feeling to me... A feeling of togetherness and wholesomeness. I like sitting in one room with all the people I love talking and laughing, poking fun at each other, rather than in a big house with many people I hardly know (I mean, I know them... but I don't know them).

I'm veyr grateful for this Christmas, despite the the underlying social consequences it may have brought upon with not showing face at a major Manguiat Family event... I find myself caring less and less.

I'm very much anti-label. Labels such as mother, father, brother, family, boyfriend, friend... they mean nothing to me unless I feel like that person really is as such. People are what they are to me... nothing more and nothing less. More elaboration on that in some later post. I'm hungry.

Publicity!

This is a blog that I've created for sharing =]

I tend to do things on a whim and decide later whether or not I like it. This is one of those... whimsical things. I so often blog about what's going on inside of my head... things that I like to keep private but still need to release. This isn't one of those things. Just a record of my mundane lifestyle...

Last week I watched my Bits Pal do an ABC list of things that made him happy. Sounds time consuming enough for a night like tonight, where I'm voluntarily stuck at home with no interest with what's on T.V. and exhausted from reading almost 3 novels in a 4 part saga in a little over 3 days.

A: Animal Planet
I love animals... I like dreaming of having exotic pets that I would give simple names. For example, a Wombat named Albert would be nice to carry around in my back pack. .

B: Bach
Bach is a test. I love Bach because his Manuscripts can be interpreted on a large range of criticisms. He's boring. yet, if you study him well enough and you truly love music and understand everything music could have ever meant in another lifetime... you'll find a spirit in his work, stories and lines... concepts and even related feelings... I think he did it on purpose to be honest.

C: Cake
I never refuse cake. I absolutely, positively, love cake.

D: DOGS!!!!
If you know me, this has to be a given. It's almost a second instinct for me to exclaim, "OOOOO DOGGY!!!" at every encounter with my Canine cuties. If I were to grow up to be an insane old lady, the neighborhood kids would call me the "Dog Lady"... because no doubt I'd put the pound out of business if I ever lost my mind with loneliness.

E: Eeyore
Eeyore is my favorite Disney Character. I think it's mostly because he has chronic depression.

F: Friends
Life would be hard without friends.

G: Grandparents
I never met my grandfathers because they both passed away before I was born, and both of my Grandmothers had passed away when I was in high school. Nonetheless I love grandparents in general. I love how fragile they are and how much history and wisdom and sincerity you can see in their eyes. If anything, grandparents can tell you exactly what you need and what you don't in your life.

H: Hugs
There's nothing that can brighten any day than a really big hug from someone you love.

I: ICE CREAM!!!
I have a second stomach for ice cream. I can eat it any day, any time.

J: Jeans that fit right
This makes me happy because it's so difficult to find a pair of jeans that I'm completely satisfied with.

K: Kisses
Both the act of endearment and the chocolate.

L: Lights
Lights have grown more extraordinary to me in the past year and a half due to certain drug affections. But nonetheless, sober or not, lights create an uplifting feeling in me... usually related to Christmas time.

M: Money
Being financially secure would definitely allow me to focus on other things in my life.

N: Nieces and Nephews
Even more than little cousins, my nieces and nephew are such a pride in my life. I love watching them grow. They remind me so much of all the simple things--everything from sugar cookies to adolescent crushes.

O: Obey sample sales
Cheap deisgner clothes would make anyone happy.

P: Piano
For more than half my life, my piano has been the only inanimate object (btw, this fact I can argue quite well... I actually believe that piano has a life)

Q: Quaint objects
I dunno. I love little objects... miniature animals, miniature containers, miniature ketchup bottles, shoes, cups, etc. I just think they're pretty cute.

R: Romantic Comedies
As idealistic as they are, romantic comedies make me all warm and gushy inside =] I think it's most embarrassing when I watch them alone and smile to myself.

S: Sun
I enjoy the sun. I'm a summer baby and on top of that I'm socal born and raised. Cold is more uncomfortable for me than hot.

T: Taking pictures in Toon Town!
Toon town makes me feel like I'm in a cartoon and that I can be as silly and as weird as I want... lol. I really feel like it's the most youthful place in Disneyland.

U: Unwinding
I really enjoy those moments where I can just sit, and relax, and unwind-- especially when it come after something like a hard week, a long practice... or even just a good meal. Alone and quiet time is a necessity in my book.

V: Valentines day.
It hasn't happened yet with the current b-friend. But shoot. It BETTER make me happy. =]

W: Walt Disney
I don't think this needs any explanation really.

X: eXcercising
It makes me feel healthy. Feeling healthy makes me happy.

Y: Youth
Not just being youthful... but also, little children and babies make me super happy. Just seeing their bright little, curious faces makes me think about how perceptive they are... you know, a lot of us forget how amazing the world is... but babies and kids never do.

Z: Zyrtec
I have major allergies.... and when they kick up, Zyrtec is my best friend.