So during my time at home, I haven't been doing much. I had a simple Christmas, but it was a nice Christmas because I managed to avoid being torn between two places. I spent Christmas with my mom and my nieces and nephew. I haven't done that in a while. Usually I spend Christmas eve with my mom, watch my nieces and nephew open presents at midnight, and then in the morning I leave for my dad's family Christmas/ Birthday party. I never look forward to watching my nieces frown at the sight of me and my brother leaving.

My oldest brother, my half brother Robert, is 17 years older than I am. As a consequence, he got married and had children when I was barely entering junior high. My sister-in-laws sister is infertile... so besides the family friends that they have here and there, my brother Jae and I are the only real extended family they have.

My niece, Alexa, and I are close enough for her to feel like a baby sister. I love her because I was so excited when she was born... minus the brutal quarrels we would always have during my adolescent years of babysitting her. But now that she's 12 I enjoy just listening her talk about her school life, her friends, her crushes, her interests...

My second niece, or rather, my God Daughter Jasmine (Robert I was too young when Alexa was born to be a God Mother, so he promised me that if he had another kid I'd be first in line) is a ball of energy. Her interests reflect mine a lot more than Alexa's (For her age, Alexa is really into flashy clothes and bling bling and make up and fashion and all that... which makes me wince a little because I want her to focus on things that are more fun). Jasmine likes to keep busy... a busy bee. She loves to draw and make things... she's very independent and suffers from the middle child syndrome; she's often ignored and has her occasional fights for attention.

My nephew, Christian, is a miniature heart throb. He has definitely brought of life into the family with his quirky, happy go lucky demeanor. My brother was going to stop having children after the two girls, but a need for a son got the best of him.

I love spending Christmas with my mom and brothers because I feel like they are my family. More so than the mob of relatives on my dad's side. I'd rather receive hardly anything but some cash from my mother for Christmas than an armful of things I don't want. Christmas is a feeling to me... A feeling of togetherness and wholesomeness. I like sitting in one room with all the people I love talking and laughing, poking fun at each other, rather than in a big house with many people I hardly know (I mean, I know them... but I don't know them).

I'm veyr grateful for this Christmas, despite the the underlying social consequences it may have brought upon with not showing face at a major Manguiat Family event... I find myself caring less and less.

I'm very much anti-label. Labels such as mother, father, brother, family, boyfriend, friend... they mean nothing to me unless I feel like that person really is as such. People are what they are to me... nothing more and nothing less. More elaboration on that in some later post. I'm hungry.